|
Hello people, mostly humans and all non-classified sentient beings. I am David J. Webb, the new Managing Editor and Earth Bureau Chief of The Funny Newz, a magazine which we have recently re-styled “The Universe’s Finest News Source” and for damn good reason: It is just that! Before I get into why it is, I should start by stating: "No, we are not trying to get sued by The Onion. Or, maybe we are?" After all, isn’t a lawsuit the greatest form of flattery?
We are something wholly different in regards to The Onion, which is frankly the best humor magazine/web magazine on the planet Earth. However, therein lies its chief limitation: it concerns Earthly matters only.
Think about it. On second thought, don't think. There is a whole Universe out there, in there and about there, somewhere, nowhere and everywhere. Consider the one in your head? What about the one contained in your thumbprint on your finger? Did you ever fathom that you are causing global warming in another Universe because you got your thumb stuck up your ass?
Let us not question then the alternate world of parallel universes, legends, fairy tales, myths, monsters and aliens, to say nothing of our own wacky world, all of which has been hinted at, dreamed about, talked about from the Egyptians to the Aztecs to author Dan Brown and that weird guy that drives your kid's morning school bus.
We tell these stories to our children about places like “Neverland” and we don’t mean the ranch home belonging to the deceased King of Pop. We man that place where Peter Pan escaped too. We see clues of alien visitation in forms of unexplained crop circles, ancient artifacts like the Pyramids, Stonehenge and Dick Clark. We know there is a face on Mars and we aim to give it Botox.
Yes, this is news site, some might say satirical and humor-oriented, which is fine. You say what you want. Meanwhile, we will report the news of the Universe as it really exists. You might say this magazine could be like the X-Files meeting The Onion but once again we don’t want to be painted with simply one brush. We only want to be limited by the worlds of our imagination.
In that spirit, the old site has reached the last month on its Aztec Day Planner calendar and is being reborn in a news magazine, which we believe will be the finest source for the Universe’s news. Imagine that!
Sincerely,
David J. Webb
Managing Editor
The Funny Newz
Earth Bureau |
